The Mystery of St Juttemis

I was working in Breda, Netherlands in 2007 when I came across a statue of St. Juttemis.
I was intrigued by the statue and found the local tourist office, just 200 metres away know nothing about the saint.

A bit of digging via Google, revealed that most of the information about him is in Dutch and that they were a fictional saint. To say something would happen on their day meant it would never happen. Apparently the saint had been adopted ( as a patron?) by the carnival community who descend on Breda every year.

At that point it seemed simple enough and had I been an incurious type I would not have asked why the carnival crowd would have adopted a fictional saint and why his day was associated with “never”. Fortunately for me I was born in the year of the cat and cats are curious.

Fast forward to 2009 and back to Google. Most of the information is still in Dutch and every bit of information I get raises more questions.

The latest information is still in Dutch. But now it appears that the saint may not have been fictitious. But the story of his life, as far as I can make it out with my not too brilliant knowledge of Dutch, based on http://oncyclopedia.net/wiki/Sint_Juttemis , which should be true but isn't, states that the saint was a Jutlander married to a farmer's daughter called Jut One day he saw a vision of Sophia who showed him the world was absurd and only made god laugh. As people had forgotten this fundamental absurdity he was ordered to go into the world and spread the word.

A difficult character, he roamed the world and one day came across a fairground and began to smash the stalls and kill the animals using a large sledgehammer someone had left lying around. In the course of the fracas he was hit on the head with the sledgehammer and died. At the same time a bell sounded and all the fairgoers were converted to “Sophiasme”: seeing the error of their ways they devoted their lives to foolishness.

There is more on Oncyclopedia and it all explains why the saints day is associated with “Never” . Like I said it is not true but should be

More prosaically wikipedia states that Jutte is a short form of Judith and that saint has her day on August 17th and that St Juttemis is mentioned in the Kroniek van Roermond. This appears to be a real series of Chronicles but I have not been able to find the original quote in the chronicle via Google, though there are plenty of references to it. The full form apparently is

“met sint-juttemis, als de kalveren op het ijs dansen”
“on the day of st Juttemis when calves dance on the ice”

Moving Northwards to Scandinavia we find four such saints according to this site

At this point I seem to have run up against a brick wall. Juttemis may or may not have existed and may or may not have been female. I have not found any good reason why his (for simplicity) day should be associated with “never” or why the carnival commnity have adopted him. The only story I found that explains everything about him is on Oncyclopedia, a site that declares itself content free and so the story could be made up. I am left with a statue that definitely exists, a load of articles in Dutch citing a real chronicle but have found no transcription of the original citation and I know no one in the carnival community.

Perhaps Juttemis' story is an urban legend that took root in Dutch culture like Father Christmas ( the Medieval one, who, unlike Santa Claus seems to have been the model for Dickens' Christmas Present),



When in doubt it is fair to speculate provided you make it plain you are speculating.

In the current issue of Fortean Times there is an Interview with Robert Rankin, author of the Brentford Trilogy, who mentions discussing a writer from the 60s called Johnny Quinn with friends, all of whom remembered him. Rankin went home knowing he had some books by Quinn but could not find them. His favorite bookseller also remembered Quinn but could find no books by him. There is however an American Footballer called Johhny Quinn born in 1963. Rankin speculates that perhaps Quinn wanted to exist. Maybe Juttemis wanted to exist.

For me however it is enough to consider Juttemis as the patron of procrastinators, civil servants, politicians forced to investigate something they would rather not investigate, and bureaucrats and jobsworths everywhere. And to redeem him from that dreadful fate, the patron of funfairs, foolishness that is wise and an incarnation of the spirit of carnival, and via the carnival, a minor trickster dedicated to puzzling people.  Perhaps I will invoke him one day. Long may he last.

If this intriged you you mighe be interested in The Brentford Griffin and the West London Dragon